Posts by Sail Away

150

I'm getting baptized

by BlackWolf in

jw
friends

i know i've started similar topics before but this time i'm serious.

my parents have been constantly pressuring me and after yesterday's watchtower study they asked me if i was going to be baptized this summer... and i said yes.

i probably should have thought about it more before making a final decision, but they're pretty much forcing me to do it anyway.

Black Wolf, I am so relieved that you have decided that you are not going to get baptized! I understand that your mom and dad are not treating you in line with your rights as a human being, but for me, it was so very important to start seeing things differently than the way I was raised and the way I raised my kids. We do have the right to change our minds, to say no and make decisions for ourselves, even if that makes others unhappy or uncomfortable. That's on them. The whole "Let your Yes mean Yes" mentality just doesn't work in the real world. Things change. Things are not black and white. As ex-JWs we need to learn a whole new way of thinking and being which includes taking responsibility for our own life and decisions, to go and to work toward living a life of freedom from control and judgement, including our own judgmental thoughts and behaviors. Try not to be hard on yourself. You are doing the best you can. Hang in there and breathe. You can do this!

Hugs,

Diane

91

My brother died last night

by LisaRose in

jw
friends

i found out this morning that my brother died last night, he was also an ex jw, 73 years old and died of heart disease and kidney failure.

it was not totally unexpected, as he had been in poor health, but it's a blow, especially as i just lost another brother two years ago.

there were six of us, now only four.

Sail Away

(((Lisa Rose))), I always appreciate your kind words and thoughtful responses to all of us here on this forum. I'm so sorry you are grieving the loss of your brother now and hope that all of the well wishes for you in this thread are of some small help during this time.

Wishing you peace, Diane

20

Update on my recently disfellowshipped niece

by keyser soze in

jw
friends

i had posted about a month ago that my niece, who just turned 15, was getting disfellowshipped.

i learned this past weekend that she tried to commit suicide.

between being df'd, and her dad not being around, it became too much for her.

Sail Away

keyser soze
Can l ask what is her Mother's take on this ?
At this point, I think she just wants her daughter to be healthy and happy. And she knows from personal experience how cruel the disfellowshipping process is.
She'll never leave the organization, but that has more to do with her dependency on her family and friends than it does her belief that it's "the truth". And the fact that she's ok with her daughter associating with me and my fiancé is very telling.

I'm so relieved to hear that your niece has you and your fiancé in her life! Hopefully, her mom will give her room to breathe. A suicide attempt is a horrific trauma to the entire family. I do hope that mom and dad are both getting some professional help for this.

One strong word of caution from family experience here-- please advise your niece's mom to dispense any necessary medications for your niece for the indefinite future. It will take quite a while for your niece to stabilize, and she should not have unmonitored access to medications.

Diane

150

I'm getting baptized

by BlackWolf in

jw
friends

i know i've started similar topics before but this time i'm serious.

my parents have been constantly pressuring me and after yesterday's watchtower study they asked me if i was going to be baptized this summer... and i said yes.

i probably should have thought about it more before making a final decision, but they're pretty much forcing me to do it anyway.

Sail Away

((((Black Wolf)))), I'm so sorry you are being coerced by your parents. Isolating and controling you in the way they have through raising you as a JW and homeschooling is just wrong. It sounds like they are simply not willing to listen to you, but I want you to know something I didn't know for the first 52 years of my life-- you have legitimate rights as a human being.

Please read and re-read this list. It is your birth right. You deserve to be treated with love, dignity and respect. Please believe that. Only you can stand up to your parents and say, "No, I am just not ready." This is supposed to be your dedication from you heart, not their decision for you. Please listen to everyone here that has said, "Don't do it!" The consequences of this one decision are monumental and life long. It is not too late to change your mind. Cults take away our legitimate human rights. We have to stand up for ourselves. It is hard at your age, but you can do it! We are cheering for you.

Your Legtitimate Rights

32

Are the anointed really "lovely people"?

by purrpurr in

i've personally never met any of those who claim to be anointed but the other jw's who have are always unanimous in their praise of how lovely and what wonderful people they are.

and i don't mean the gb i mean common or garden anointed.

i was told that when they speak about being in heaven that they almost "seem to glow".. is this right?

Sail Away

I've known three. Two genuine Christian men. One a complete front loop who ended up getting the book thrown at him during a custody hearing. The judge was not happy with his brand of raving lunacy. He represented himself. He was thought to have been a replacement for one of the annointed who fell away.

The oldest of the three was a colporter back in the day. He treated his non-anointed wife with great love and respect, even stating that the society needed to show more respect toward women. I regularly sat in on a study he conducted with a woman in his later life-- not the norm, I know. She did get baptized, but was later disfellowshipped for wickedness. It seems she had over 12 (I think 13) lifesaving blood transfusions and was not repentant. She would not sign a letter stating it was a moment of weakness and that she wouldn't do it again. One day the crows were particularly loud and annoying and disrupted their study. He believed Satan sent them to interfere. He died with late-stage dementia. He was well-loved.

I didn't now the third well, but worked with him in the ministry. He was a true believer and a company man through and through.

34

Hello

by WITNESS-FOR-WATCHTOWER-REFORM in

jw
friends

just to say a big hello.

i have been reading this site for some time now and have been very unhappy with some of the things emanating from watchtower head quarters in new york.

the final straw for me is the upcoming watchtower study this weekend encouraging us to shun our own family members (our own mothers if need be) if they are disfellowshipped....a step too far for my liking.

Sail Away

Welcome WFWR! I left the organization knowing there was no way I was ever going to shun my adult children. I knew things were heading down that road nearly five years ago, and now we are here. We can only hope that even more people will choose to live the life they have here and now with their loved family members over living in fear of a judgementall, punishing God. You are in good company here.

52

Any thought behind your " Avatar"

by The Rebel in

jw
friends

i think that's the correct phrase?

anyway when i first came here, that little picture that "the rebel" hides behind, was a self portrait of a very sad man, who simply had too much knowledge.

now i feel after 7 months here, i should repaint that " avetor" give some happiness to the eyes, and a contented smile to the lips.. in short my " avetor" was a self portrait of a man with too much knowledge.

Sail Away

Spending time sailing with my husband gave me time to breathe and experience life outside the control of the organization, time to unwind away from indoctrination. It was the catalyst for my waking up. I left a believer, because the cognition dissonance was literally killing me. I just wanted to love my family who left before I had in the time we had left together. I simply was unwilling to shun my DF'd son. If Jehovah wanted to kill me for that, so be it.

I learned TTATT a few months after I sailed away. Oh, and Emma is my little sailor dog.

Diane

55

Just wondering who on this board has a spouse that is fully in and your awake?

by goingthruthemotions in

i am just curious who on this board is in the same situation has i am?

a spouse that is fully brain doogled in and you are awake to ttatt.. without going into serious detail and no names are given.

i would like to possible talk with one of you all, it's just so helpful to communicate with someone in the same situation as me.. i am located in the southwest united states..

Sail Away

Hi goingthruthemotions, I stayed in for 30+ years after my husband left. He would be happy to talk with you. I'll send you a PM.

Diane

25

Resolutions at Kingdom Hall

by sieborg in

anyhow i got to thinking today about my days in the borg and the resolutions that would intermittently be made in the announcements for co visit expenses, sending a donation to society www fund etc.

my point is that while i was in (almost thirty two years) i never once saw anyone put up their hand to vote against a resolution that the body of elders proposed.

on a couple of occasions i heard a few hushed murmurs but i never saw one person vote against.

Sail Away

There is a provision for questions before the vote. In my congregation, it was more than clear that sisters should not ask questions-- that was for the elders and ministerial servants. I usually waited to see if a brother would ask first, but if I thought it was important, and no one asked, I raised my hand. You should have seen the disaproving looks! What a farce.

33

Reminder about language and content

by Simon in

while the vast majority of posts that the majority of posters share are perfectly fine (which we appreciate) i've noticed we have a few cases where bad language, crude innuendo and outright misogyny is creeping in.. this is not acceptable.. we're not certainly not prudish and neither are we going to enforce puritanical rules - sometimes a politically incorrect joke is funny as hell and sometimes strong language is justified.

but often times content is completely out of place and cannot be justified.. so, please don't post crude content or use expletives just to be "shocking".

it's childish and immature and won't be tolerated.. thank you to all the people this has nothing at all to do with..

Sail Away

Simon, thank you sincerely for trying to maintain some semblance of decorum. As a woman with post-traumatic stress disorder, I don't always feel safe posting here. At times it does seem like a misogynistic, old boys' club runs the show.

Diane